Monday, 27 September 2010

Take Me Back to Star City

Things are a little fuzzy now. I dream that I’m awake; walking with my eyes closed. A floating brain, a pine tree in Cape Town, a cape tree in pine town. Take me back to Star City. I want to dream of the place that tastes like 1997 and steals my second breath out of every three.

Didn’t have Ol’Doc play the harmonica when I was a kid, but I miss him anyway. My tongue tries to wet the cracklings of my lips, flailing about for excuses but I got none. Cracker jacks and lollipops, band-aids and cough drops. What the hell are Cracker jacks?

See, you grow up then you grow old, and if you stay young you grow old and if you don’t love then you don’t grow. That’s like loveless loving for lovers who know that loveless loving leads to letting go. This is my loving promise to not let you go. And if I do, my father Time told me to, sorry. And Mr. Time is playing tricks on our temperate minds as your youth is given much sense as my old.

Too young to act as I say, I’m forty three and the world is a little older than me. Since that’s how it goes I think it knows best, so I’ll leave the thinkers to think and the world to rest. Close my eyes and I’m back at nineteen when I didn’t know I even had a spleen and all I wanted to do was to have sex with you. Confusing your eyes with other ladies’ thighs - what a mess of an age. I’d give up seven years of what I have for one year of having that. Passionate promises, sweaty conglomerates fulfilling like a short summer dream.

I awake again and I’m thirty three. Only the devil and the postman know what is wrong with me. But there is more to the feel of a pen than the psychobabble of a blind man. I sang in the blues and my God! You knew before I told you. Doesn’t take a war to know that self pity is cruel. My mind is a lost season, my hands are a jewel. But like all things ephemeral I’ll go back to renewal.

Honey blossoms in her hair; you tell me I should be fair I feel for belonging. In a rainy day, trapped under a cheap umbrella I think of others I think I’ve loved. Like a projection of Adam’s thought, Eve is now begot. It was a different umbrella then.

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